Guatemala. Land of the Eternal Springs. it's a beautiful country.
This month is woman/man-istry month this month, so the men and women are split up. Therefore, the women from my team, Super Mario (we had another name change!) and Via Gloria, are working at Los Gozosos (The Joyful), an orphanage for special needs children. There are 10 children, between the ages of 5 & 19 who live here. Their needs run the whole gambit of diagnoses. Some have downs, one autism, some are developmentally and cognitively impared, others with varying disabilities.
Kat & Jeremy Cearbaugh wrote about each of them when there were here a few months ago, so I'll attach their website so that you can read about the kids. They do a great job of introducing them to you :)
These last 5 days have been so long but so good.
Here's our basic schedule::
5 am: showering and dressing the kids.
6 am: breakfast prep
6:30 am: breakfast
7 am: get older kids ready for school
7:30 am: school until 12:00.
7:30 am: physical therapy for the kids who stay home
11 am: worship/pray with kids
12:30 pm: lunch prep
1 pm: lunch until 2 (this is family time for most central american countries)
2 pm: brush kids' teeth, clean up & play time
3:30 pm: kids nap, staff has worship/prayer time
4 pm: break time until 4:30 plus finish up other projects.
5:30 pm: dinner prep
6:30 pm: dinner
7 pm: get kids in pajamas and ready for bed
7:30 pm: worship/prayer time with staff and kids
8 pm: kid's bed time
8:30 pm: team feedback time
9:30 pm: day is officially over
I'm usually sleeping by 9:40. I am thoroughly and completely exhausted by this time and it's off to bed.
The nice thing is that with this schedule, as crazy as it can be, we don't all have to do everything all the time. We are able to pick and choose what to do, so long as everything is being covered. During the day, on top of the schedule above, we also have other things to do. Lots of laundry, general maintenance that includes mowing, pruning, and so on.
I've also been working on mastering the spanish language. It's been easier than I thought since it's basically immersion here at the orphanage. All the nannies speak it, the kids do, too, as do Marian, Bea, Rachel & Ann. So, I'm looking forward to learning a lot of spanish and being able to use it when I'm back in Denver!
Our free days are Saturdays. Tomorrow, some of my team is going to go zip-lining and will also visit a coffee farm just outside of Antigua. There are plenty of things to do in the area: visit Antigua, climb a volcano, go cliff diving into a lake, visit the markets, et cetera. I'm excited to see different parts of the world.
It's gorgeous here. Mostly sunny, warm but still breezy. We are in a town, 45 minutes outside of Antigua, called Chimaltenango. It has a population of 150,000 which is crazy. We are on the outskirts of the town, and behind tall walls of which most have razor wire on the top. Apparently the orphanage has been broken into a few times, so now at nights they have an armed guard on the premises along with a great, smelly, super friendly dog whose bark sounds vicious who helps guard. Don't worry though :) The guard randomly lights firecrackers at night, (that sound like gunshots) to discourage lurkers who might be curious as to what lies on the other side of these razor wire walls.
Today we leave Serbia. Tomorrow we leave Hungary and fly to Antigua, Guatemala via Poland and America.
It's unbelievable how fast the end ofthis trip is starting to go. How fast it's gone all along. We're starting our 9th month. Month 9. Just 3 more months to go. 3. 2. 1.
3. Guatemala
2. Honduras or El Salvador
1. Nicaragua.
As much as these first 8 months have gone by, I'm afraid the last 3 will fly in hyperspeed.
Pray for myself and my team. We will have our 8 month debrief in Guatemala the first 3-4 days we are there. It should be a time of refreshing and reconnecting. There is always the chance of team changes, too.
During our Guatemala month, the men and women wil be separated. All the men will be together in one place and the women will be split into 2 different locations. Our teams will be staying together in that regard, but we'll join with the women of other teams, as well. Pray that our time together is full of growth, love, and grace.
Lastly, we'll be at a special needs orphanage in Chimaltenango, Guatemala, 45 minutes outside of Antigua. Pray that our time there would be spent loving the kids who live there. That we can be intentional in our time with each other, and resting in God's goodness and grace.
Can I just tell you how amazing God, my provider is? seriously. You all know just how hard, taxing, and slow this fundraising process has been. I was patiently (sometimes not so patiently) awaiting the funds to come in. There were times when I legitimately thought I wasn't going to stay on the race, there were times when i knew that I would at least make it to the next leg. There were times when I thought about doing the race over (minus the fundraising part) and there have been times when i knew I would never, ever, do it again. I've been all over the place.
So, thank you, THANK YOU, to everyone who has partnered with me through this, who has stood by me, who has given financially, prayed for me, helped me with the silent auction, loaning me money to buy health insurance, providing me with free items, helping me with a garage sale, supporting me time and time again, and following me on this journey.
I am so blessed to run this race with you, to be a part of God's plan that is bigger than I could ever have imagined it to be. I'm excited to finish strong, to fully commit and invest in what God has put before me to finish. Three months in Central America:: Guatemala, Honduras & Nicaragua (is my assumption). Three months of practicing spanish, praying for direction, and pleading iwth God to make my next path clear. He's going to continue working in me and working through me. And, in all of this, he is preparing me for the next journey of life - whatever that looks like.
Continue to pray for me, that his touch would be apparent in my life. I don't necessarily believe that his will for my life means that there is a wrong or right choice of what to do after the race, but I do believe that if nothing else he wants me to follow his leadings and trust him.
Thank you, once again, for being amazing, and for helping me to accomplish more than I ever could have dreamed of.
One thing you may know about me is that I love painting. Not fine arts kind of pretty painting, but painting walls, entryways, trim, et cetera. I was able to paint in one of the orphanages in Bulgaria and it was nice to be able to do something tangible to give back to future generations of people who will visit that place. Will they remember that I’m the one who painted it? No. Would they care anyway? No. When’s the last time you were somewhere and thought, “I wonder who painted these walls and why?”
Anyway, it was nice to plop down for a few hours and focus on just painting. No talking, just quietness and feeling like I was making a difference. It felt good, for a while.
So many times when we I do things, when we I volunteer for things, we I do it with a hidden agenda – I am queen when it comes to that. We do it to be noticed. Painting this, I wanted everyone to see how good my painting skills are, how well I cut a trim, how I was better at it than everyone else because my dad was a painter and he taught me some stuff.
So, needless to say, I went in with an attitude of superiority. Which was absolutely wrong. And it made for a critical attitude on my end of how others worked. I went from having an attentive eye on the walls to make sure they were being covered well to having a critical attitude towards those I painted with. I needed an intervention.
Intro No-no. Noah was itching to paint all day. He kept asking when I would be done edging so that he could paint. Every 3-5 minutes. For 2 hours. Hahaha, to say he was dedicated would be an understatement. :) After an eternity, relatively speaking, I was finally finished. I couldn't come up with any more excuses to not let him paint (have I mentioned that I really enjoy painting?).
So, I showed him how far the paintbrush should go into the paint tin before he should pull it out, scrape the excess paint off and then put the brush on the wall. He did well, usually dipping the brush in further and not really scraping the paint off very well, but as I said before, he was dedicated. He did what he came to do, and he had fun. That's what mattered to me. He felt like he was a part of the family and was making a difference.
And I learned a lesson. I learned that if I want to get rid of this critical, controlling, comparing spirit that I so often adopt (that I try to keep it well hidden from everyone around me) you have to find ways to intentionally give it up from the start. Allowing Noah to paint was the first step to letting go; I let him paint and stood behind him giving him pointers and occasionally taking his hand in mine and redirecting him to a spot of white on the wall rather than applying a 5th coat of green to an already green patch.
Criticism, comparison, judging, it's all the same in it's most basic form – and it always comes with a negative connotation. When I compare yourself to someone else, I'm taking away the fact that they want to feel like they're making a difference too. And it's not fair to judge their actions when really what I'm doing is judging their heart and motivation – and that's not my place. And it goes so much deeper. I'm not just comparing my painting skills with you, I'm comparing all my skills, my life, experiences, relationships and even more. I'm basically pitting you against me in a battle that no one wins. It affects and inhibits me personally, and my relationship with the people I'm comparing myself with, regardless of whether they know what I'm thinking or not.
It's lose-lose.
But there's hope. Even for me. It's times like that when I have to tell God that he needs to deal with this, he needs to correct and fix me because left to my own devices, I'm nasty – my insides are dark, jumbled and gross. All of us are. But, thankfully, Jesus died for that. The blood ran from his insides, cleansing us with his grace. It ran from his head, allowing his grace to cover our thoughts, our emotions, and our actions. How beautiful that grace is when we see the grime that so often resides inside our hearts and minds. Praises to him who brings brings redemption!
On the 9th, we had a unique outreach opportunity, that didn't quite go as planned, which I'm finding is quite typical especially on the World Race.
One of the women here, Diana, was married about 8 months ago. Before they were married, her husband, Sasha, played a lot of soccer (and still does occasionally). His friends, who are not Christians, attended their wedding and I think, for most of them, it was their first time in a church. Monday afternoon we were able to spend time wtih these 9 men playing soccer and just hanging out. It was really fun to get to play, to be active and meet new people.
The plan was to play soccer, come back to the church, and share a testimony, sing, and have a sermon. Well, as I said above, it didn't work out quite that way. After soccer, we went back to the church and then all the men left, in about a 5 minute period. Long enough that after getting back, putting dinner in the oven, and going upstairs, the last two were heading out the door. It was a little disappointing, honestly.
But, it was in that time that the Lord reminded me that even though it's not how I forsaw it to happen, God was still present in that moment, he wasn't surprised by what happened but he still used us in their lives, if only for an hour and a half. I don't know what God's going to do with them, I don't know how he's pursuing them, I just know that he is, that he's always with them and one day he will win them over to himself.
My part in their story, at least up to this point, was to play soccer with them, to smile at them and give them a hard time on the court. I made sure the goals they scored weren't easy, and I did my best to make them feel included and loved in the way that only I could.
God does what he wants. And he uses us, even in the smallest ways. I did my part, I watered the soil as best as I could - it's up to Him to make them grow, to guide them and lead them; to woo them. But, it's a hard thing to trust in. We all thought, "did I do enough?" "Did I make a difference?" "Could I have done better?" But I just have to trust, to have faith that those men needed to be there at that specific time, and that somewehre along the way, this will play some sort of part in their eternal stories.
I would encourage you to remember that God is still sovereign, he is still God. He is omnipresent, omnipotent, and all loving. He is intricately weaving the stories of all of us together. Trust that he's using you in a way that only you could be used, that he is using you because you are special, because only you can do what you are doing. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, God doesn't make mistakes - you are there for a reason. The thoughts you think, the way your mind works, the words that you speak, it is all for a very specific purpose.
God has brought you to this point in your life, he has prepared you with whatever you have gone through in the past, for a reason. And the things you'll go through coming up will be used to prepare you for things in your future.
I want to apologize to all of you for not posting more blogs. Last month was an interesting month, and one that I didn't find much in the way of inspiration for actually writing down what happened. Honestly, I was more interested in actually being present and spending time with the kids that I was around, with the families we had the priviledge of knowing and living among, that going online and blogging.
We spent the month with our contact, Yavor his wife Maria, son, Philip (Feef) and daughter, Sarah (Sare). We also got to know Yavor's brother, Victor, and his family; wife, Theresa, and sons Danny (Dan-Dan), Mattias (Tie-Tie) & Noah (No-No). On top of that, we spent a lot of time with Bisa, the man whose apartment we shared.
It was a great month. Probably the best of the whole entire race, and the part that made it the best was building relationships and living in community with the amazing people mentioned above. If you go on my facebook, you'll notice that I am now considered "sister" to Feef, Sare, Danny, & Tie-tie. These kids are amazing, especially for being 13, 16, 15 & 14 respectively. They all served as translators for us during our different ministries and really just embraced us and loved us so well.
They were so gracious, kind, generous and respectful. It was truly a blessing to be around them, to love on them and to mutually encourage each other. They helped me grow a lot and reminded me of just why I am here; to spread the love of Jesus and to encourage and remind people, whereever they are, that they are loved, they are wanted, and they have a daddy who cares so much for them that he couldn't stand the thought of leaving them without the hope of being united with them for eternity.
And, in my travelings, it is my hope that I will not only directly encourage those who are not currently believers, but that I would also be able to propel a greater desire for Christians to love the people they're around and see the world for what it is: bigger than our own sphere of influence, greater than the hopes and dreams we have for ourselves, and the place that Papa has created us to be a part of, because of his love and glory.
By spending the time I did with the kids, and reading the letters they gave me upon our departure, I know that I did indeed propel a greater desire and awareness within them. And I am so grateful for the opportunity to know them, to love them and love & serve along side them.
With all that being said, in these next 3 weeks, before I head to Central America, I will be posting blogs abotu what I did in Bulgaria. I hope you find them enjoyable, and I'll do my best to keep you all more up to date on what's going on in my little sphere of influence...
April 16 will determine if I come home early or if i finish the last 3 months of the race.
AIM has been gracious in extending the deadlines for us on the field, but come that date, there will be no more grace. The deadline is officially at hand.
I've posted many blogs about this fundraising business. and the truth is, i hate it. i hate having to ask for money, to beg and plead my case, knowing that you have helped me so much. I hate having to post and post about how I still need money, and I how I can't do it alone and need your help.
I know that for most of you, you're tapped for cash. And that's okay.
I still need about $1400, but I'm trusting God to provide. It might not be through you, but it will come.
I'm reminded of Kevin Costner in Field of Dreams :: "If you build it, they will come." God has built this dream in me, and has allowed people to help me get here. I know that He's going to come through yet again, as he has done throughout the entirety of this race and my life.
For those who currently support me, more than your finances, I want to ask you to pray with me, that God will use people to bring in the rest of this support. Pray that he would be glorified through this process, that he would take all the credit and receive all of the glory, because all of this money that has been and will be raised has come from him, since everything is his. Pray that he would open the floodgates and allow for more than the $1500 to come in, so that I could get reimbursed for plane tickets as well as for health insurance. I'm trusting in his abundance to come this time around. I know that he can do whatever he wants, I know that regardless of what happens he is and always has been in control, that has always been apparent to me.
I don't want to put God in a box and limit what he can do, I want him to go above and beyond anything i could imagine. He's already started, with more than just my AIM support account.
The other day I sent an email to my mom, asking her to put some money into my checking account so that i could have some spending money. She responded that "God has smiled down on me" because either that day or the day prior, I received a check in the mail, from a bank I used in college, refunding me some overdraft fees. I thought, "sweet! I wonder how much it's for, maybe $25 or something like that." But, I checked my account tonight and the check was for $114. WHOA! And then i thought that this is one of those times that something bad that happened (overdrawing my account a few different times) was actually a blessing in disguise, now that I've received this check.
AMAZING!
So, thank you, all of you, for coming along side me in this journey, for propping me up with prayers, financial support, and for loving me and watching me as I grow. It's been an honor, and I'm praying and trusting that this will not be the end as I know it.
$1400 to go! Can't wait to see how God works this out! :)
Sometime in the last month, we went to an orphanage for two days in a row – whilst there we spent the vast, VAST majority of our time raking (or scraping, as Noah, our contact's 6 year old nephew would say) leaves from the large playground area of the orphanage. We spent about seven hours in total raking and about one hour playing with the kids. Was I disappointed? Um, if you know me at all, then you know that I was absolutely disappointed by the lack of time spent with the kiddies. But, after actually spending the hour with them, it was phenomenal and pretty dang sad! They were so. stinking. adorable. When we got there, we sang some songs, played with a parachute (I love those things!) and brought out some musical instruments.
parachute!!
While we were playing with the instruments, I approached some of the smaller kiddies who were sitting on the laps of the helpers, keeping to themselves and, as I usually do, I proceeded to tickle them. After tickling them, and others around them, they all started to get off the couches and interact more. And, oh my goodness. Their giggles?! Absolutely worth seven hours of raking.
As they were leaving us, some of them started crying – which broke my heart and made it expand at the same time. Before they left, one of them, a cute little girl, ran to me and gave me a hug. And I just wanted to take her home with me.
baby girl that ran and gave me a hug!
The faces I make.... I tell ya!
Little baby children just do something to me. I don't know how to put it into words, but I just love the kiddies! I so enjoy being around them, playing with them, entertaining them, facilitating learning opportunities, and just being silly with them. Being around kids is definitely my niche – I find it easy, enjoyable, fun and relaxing.
sadly Jenn doesn't have the same touch with the kiddies as I do... ;)
We’ve been to an adult day center on three separate occasions. Each time I go back, I fall more in love with the people who call it “home” at least during the day. Each person has a different disability, some have downs syndrome, some are just mentally incapable, some don’t really talk, some can’t sit still and just move around the entire time, and more. Most of them are pretty high functioning, and on the majority of their faces, you will find a smile that lights up the room, and when directed towards you makes you feel great.
They love the attention. Each time we go there, we wind up doing crafts along with them which has been really fun. One day we had a dance party. It was the greatestthing. They turned on some Bulgarian folk music, which I’m coming to love, and we all joined hands and started dancing in a circle. They love to have fun and it shows on their faces.
5 of the adults there have jobs in the community. Every day they go out to lunch at a neighborhood diner of sorts, to make sure that everyone is learning to function within society – it’s so good for them! The workers at the day center truly love the adults there. It’s beautiful to see because some of the adults in the day center are the children of the workers. This day center was started years ago by mothers who wanted their children to have something better,who didn’t believe in institutionalizing their children and chose to love them despite their disabilities. It has revolutionized the city because in older generations, most families who had a disabled child would send them off somewhere where they wouldn’t have to see them often, if at all. The stigma of disabilities is still alive, unfortunately. But the day center, in integrating their adults into society instead of keeping them out of it, is changing thoughts and hearts.
One of the men at the facility, on our first day there, gave me a card that he made. On the second visit, they treated us by having a table of snacks for us to and on the third visit, one of my favorite ladies gave me a craft that she made. It always brings joy to my heart to see how well they love on us, when the reason we’re going is actually to love on them. It’s funny how the entirety of God’s kingdom is that way; upside down. This race is complete proof of that – we thought we were going to change the world when actually it’s God, through the world, who is changing us.
parachute!! 
baby girl that ran and gave me a hug!
The faces I make.... I tell ya!
